Pizza Girl part three
Price: 8.00
(Undisclosed)
Today I was attacked again - the guy wanted the money I was carrying. He was waving a knife around, but it was a dinner knife and he looked really stupid with it. "OK, OK," I said, "My life isn't worth the cash I'm carrying, it's on the bicycle, I'll just get it." But also on the bicycle was my hockey stick, and that's a yard long. I unclipped it, and swung at his head, as one does. He ducked, of course, but I caught him a good one on the shoulder. He yelled "Bitch" and came at me with the knife, but I got him on the left ear with the second swipe of my stick, and he staggered. Why a hockey stick, you might be wondering. Because a baseball bat looks like a weapon, but a hockey stick looks like sports equipment. Which it is, and I've had plenty of practice with it. So he was still coming at me with his cutlery, so after I'd bounced my hockey stick off his left ear, I did a follow through, spun round and smashed my weapon into his right ear. Now he was dazed, but he still had his knife, so I lined up carefully and whacked his right hand, cracking his knuckles and causing him to drop the blade. Now he was disarmed, I suppose I could have just got on the pizza bike and rode off, but my blood was up and I wasn't going to stop now. The standard strike with a hockey stick is, of course, to the shins, followed by an "Oops, sorry about that!". So I took careful aim, raised the stick and brought it down as hard as I could. There was a satisfying "Crack!" and I knew that my assailant was finished. So I put my hockey stick back on its bracket, got on the pizza bike and rode off into the sunset. Or I would have, but it was night time so I rode off into the moonlight.
attacked money carrying waving knife dinner knife stupid life cash bicycle hockey stick yard long unclipped swung head ducked caught shoulder yelled bitch left ear second swipe stick staggered baseball bat sports equipment practice cutlery bounced follow through smashed weapon dazed right hand cracking knuckles drop blade disarmed pizza bike rode off blood standard strike shins oops sorry aim raised hard satisfying crack assailant finished bracket sunset night time moonlight
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Pizza Girl part three
Price: 5.00
(Undisclosed)
Today I was attacked again - the guy wanted the money I was carrying. He was waving a knife around, but it was a dinner knife and he looked really stupid with it. "OK, OK," I said, "My life isn't worth the cash I'm carrying, it's on the bicycle, I'll just get it." But also on the bicycle was my hockey stick, and that's a yard long. I unclipped it, and swung at his head, as one does. He ducked, of course, but I caught him a good one on the shoulder. He yelled "Bitch" and came at me with the knife, but I got him on the left ear with the second swipe of my stick, and he staggered. Why a hockey stick, you might be wondering. Because a baseball bat looks like a weapon, but a hockey stick looks like sports equipment. Which it is, and I've had plenty of practice with it. So he was still coming at me with his cutlery, so after I'd bounced my hockey stick off his left ear, I did a follow through, spun round and smashed my weapon into his right ear. Now he was dazed, but he still had his knife, so I lined up carefully and whacked his right hand, cracking his knuckles and causing him to drop the blade. Now he was disarmed, I suppose I could have just got on the pizza bike and rode off, but my blood was up and I wasn't going to stop now. The standard strike with a hockey stick is, of course, to the shins, followed by an "Oops, sorry about that!". So I took careful aim, raised the stick and brought it down as hard as I could. There was a satisfying "Crack!" and I knew that my assailant was finished. So I put my hockey stick back on its bracket, got on the pizza bike and rode off into the sunset. Or I would have, but it was night time so I rode off into the moonlight.
attacked money carrying waving knife dinner knife stupid life cash bicycle hockey stick yard long unclipped swung head ducked caught shoulder yelled bitch left ear second swipe stick staggered baseball bat sports equipment practice cutlery bounced follow through smashed weapon dazed right hand cracking knuckles drop blade disarmed pizza bike rode off blood standard strike shins oops sorry aim raised hard satisfying crack assailant finished bracket sunset night time moonlight
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Respect all, fear nun - part five
Price: 5.00
(Undisclosed)
Respect all, fear nun - part five It was the terce prayer hour. We were all three of us in the gym; the off springs were outside playing with their dogs. I was lying on my back, doing reps with 500, when I noticed a crack in the ceiling that looked like a jagged bolt of stylized lightning. When I finished my set, I showed it to Nora and Mandy. My eyes followed the crack, and the wall was also cracked. "That looks bad," said Mandy. "Is the building falling down?" asked Nora. "I think we should treat the building a lot more gently until further notice," I suggested. "So no more dropping the weights to the floor; lower them gently." "And we should pray," said Nora. "Of course," I said, "but we should also get a good surveyor, to tell us whether this is nothing, or very bad. Roger stood, transfixed. He'd never seen a nun doing bench presses before, he's never seen a woman with 26 inch biceps before and he'd never seen a St Hilda's nun except me, and I was covered head to toe in my habit. He just stood there, paralysed with a mixture of respect and fear. He was imagining what Nora could do to a man once he was helpless in those huge arms. And I thought, Gotcha! I prophesy a discount.
Respect fear nun prayer gym crack lightning building weights surveyor St Hilda's biceps habit discount.
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Ultimate Power Ultimately Corrupts - The Triplets
Price: 6.00
(Story: Silentcrs, Artwork: Everton)
When a man is confronted by a trio of Titanic Temptresses, dressed like the sexy young girls they are, he finds out the Hard (and in the end, Lethally) Way how being the object of such Gigantic Girls desires isn't always what its CRACKED up to be! - Everton once again lends his Amazing artwork to this silentcrs written Classic!
man confronted trio Titanic Temptresses dressed sexy young girls Hard Lethally Way object Gigantic Girls desires CRACKED up Everton Amazing artwork silentcrs written Classic
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Respect all, fear nun - part four
Price: 3.00
(Undisclosed)
We learn about nuns and candles, and the part they play in the life of a nun. Fiona dreams about Satan, and does a deal with the devil; the off spring of the orphanage will all get Xboxes in return for Fiona's soul. Fiona now thinks she's infested by Satan, so Sam does an exorcism for her, which involves some very heavy sex. But the Xboxes have already started to appear in the hands of the off springs. Where could they have come from? Then Fiona realizes. If it was all just a dream, then it didn't matter. And if it wasn't a dream, Satan was lying to her; it's what he does.
Respect fear nun prayer gym crack lightning building weights surveyor St Hilda's biceps habit discount
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Respect all, fear nun - part five
Price: 4.00
(Undisclosed)
It was the terce prayer hour. We were all three of us in the gym; the off springs were outside playing with their dogs. I was lying on my back, doing reps with 500, when I noticed a crack in the ceiling that looked like a jagged bolt of stylized lightning. When I finished my set, I showed it to Nora and Mandy. My eyes followed the crack, and the wall was also cracked. "That looks bad," said Mandy. "Is the building falling down?" asked Nora. "I think we should treat the building a lot more gently until further notice," I suggested. "So no more dropping the weights to the floor; lower them gently." "And we should pray," said Nora. "Of course," I said, "but we should also get a good surveyor, to tell us whether this is nothing, or very bad. Roger stood, transfixed. He'd never seen a nun doing bench presses before, he's never seen a woman with 26 inch biceps before and he'd never seen a St Hilda's nun except me, and I was covered head to toe in my habit. He just stood there, paralyzed with a mixture of respect and fear. He was imagining what Nora could do to a man once he was helpless in those huge arms. And I thought, Gotcha! I prophesy a discount.
Respect fear nun prayer gym crack lightning building weights surveyor St Hilda's biceps habit discount
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